They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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