Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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