Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize