Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sext me about skeletons
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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