Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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