11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize