I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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