question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
