Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
