There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
