Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
