At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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