Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
