He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
