Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
