try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
well you can't waste a boner
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
