For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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