What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Randomize
