foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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