U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize