So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize