think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
