I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
