He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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