Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
