ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
