haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
