Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
smell my finger.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
