If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
