It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
