My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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