So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
