guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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