I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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