her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
