yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
