Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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