I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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