i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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