Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
