Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize