I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
