Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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