I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
