I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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