Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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