Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
