I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
