i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
