All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
