And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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