it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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