I forgot how hot balto sounded
mondays should just be called national damage control day
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
