quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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