Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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