I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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