Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
