That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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