dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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