it was like his penis was on wheels.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
