I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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