sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
