ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
