so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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