i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
