listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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