you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
