i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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