what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
