I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
