and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
