What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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