just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
